Belső útkeresésem fizikai manifesztációja: EVS Szovátán

The physical manifestation of searching my way: EVS at Sovata

O(u)C(h)TOBER

As you could have read in my first post, moving to Transylvania was a bit more challenging for me than expected. Maybe it's normal, and maybe I just wasn’t prepared for these feelings and facts. Or maybe (hahaha, not. for sure.) my expectations were too high - as always. Or both. But either way, it took me a month to digest the circumstances of my new life...

...FEELINGS

I can not say any nice things if I want to be honest. I felt lost and lonely most of the time in the first month. I felt pain that reminded me of the feeling of loss, like for example when you break up with somebody. I know it sounds a bit hard, but at that time these feelings were really hard and heavy. Actually, it surprised me, cause I really wanted to come here to do something out of my comfort zone, and felt ready for this. But after my arrival, I felt I miscalculated my mental strength and that was maybe the most painful feeling of all, like if I betrayed my own self. So besides loneliness, I felt a whole lot of disappointment about me too. It's not easy if the only person who can help you to overcome this situation is you, right?

…SURROUNDINGS

Everything was new to me – except the language. Thank God, I’ve chosen this destination, otherwise, I can imagine it could have been more hard. But what is everything? Not just the place and the people, but the whole lifestyle. Me who was living in very nice circumstances in the capital of Hungary all my life, moved to a small town, almost a village. For those, who are my kind, and can’t really imagine what does it mean besides the really nice hills and fresh air - it meant there is no theatre, no cinema, there are no nice small coffees, no(t many) pubs, no built places to visit for spectacle, no shop, no DM, no restaurants, and not many options to buy food from. (Forget your favourite ones! :D) So it's kinda empty for a „big city girl”. At least if you imagine it for a year…

…ACCOMODATION

Even if I was living in a nice big flat – which I really appreciate now (credits to OB! <3) -="" and="" had="" all="" the="" very="" basic="" things="" (like="" place="" to="" shower,="" sleep,="" sit="" or="" eat)="" a="" human="" being="" needs="" functionally="" (so="" everything="" is="" old="" like="" at="" grandmas="" of="" course)="" to="" live,="" it="" was="" totally="" empty,="" and="" i="" was="" freaking="" out="" cause="" of="" it.="" i="" missed="" all="" the="" equipment="" that="" is="" essential="" for="" me="" to="" feel="" myself="" home.="" like="" rug="" and="" curtain="" in="" the="" bathroom,="" or="" objects="" to="" cook="" with="" or="" store="" my="" food="" in.="" things="" which="" -="" at="" least="" for="" me="" -="" help="" to="" make="" a="" functional="" cold="" flat="" a="" little="" bit="" more="" comfortable.="" i="" was="" absolutely="" not="" prepared="" to="" evolve="" my="" own="" living="" environment="" from="" the="" basics.="" actually,="" i="" imagined="" that="" i="" will="" move="" to="" a="" nice="" homey="" flat="" which="" will="" help="" me="" to="" get="" used="" to="" this="" new="" life.="" but="" after="" all,="" slowly="" i="" got="" the="" things="" i="" needed,="" from="" here="" and="" there="" and="" found="" a="" fixed="" place="" to="" store="" all="" my="" stuff.="" and="" since="" i="" was="" able="" to="" manage="" my="" mornings="" in="" the="" same="" way="" without="" any="" extra="" efforts,="" i="" felt="">

…WORK

Since it was almost offseason, only a few camps were held in the youth centre. So basically I was doing physical jobs for OB, sometimes helping the cleaning staff but mostly renewing chairs. This meant that I burnished and cleaned chairs with the help of Anna, who is one of OB’s instructors (- painting happened after, only in November). It took more weeks to get all the 75 chairs OB got second hand from a German school, ready for paint. It was not the work of my dreams, but besides this, I was able to order my thoughts about my new situation. Despite the chairs, I had to prepare an info letter for an international youth exchange program (Changemakers) too, cause I became the coordinator assistant of the program. And at the end of the month I finally had the chance to participate in my very first class trip – the reason why I’m actually here. It was nice to see how the group dynamics work in between a bunch of people, who already had a kind of „system” for being together, and how this „system” is changing, when they are out of their niche, their boxes and labels. How they start to behave as an individual when they need to leave their comfort zone and have to face their responsibilities. I was happy, cause I saw again that this method works, and felt, it could be a thing which I coul d imagine me doing for a living.

…LEISURE

After the evaluation of the class trip, the nice instructor – Pöcööök<3- i="" was="" working="" with,="" asked="" me="" if="" i="" had="" the="" mood="" to="" visit="" cluj="" napoca="" for="" a="" few="" days.="" i="" felt="" i="" should="" not="" let="" this="" opportunity="" pass.="" in="" cluj,="" we="" had="" a="" lot="" of="" fun.="" the="" first="" evening,="" we="" visited="" a="" concert="" of="" margaret="" island="" and="" had="" a="" huge="" dancing="" party="" after="" it.="" the="" other="" day,="" we="" ate="" delicious="" hamburgers="" with="" our="" hangovers,="" we="" were="" searching="" proper="" clothes="" for="" pöcök="" for="" a="" costume="" party,="" drank="" a="" nice="" coffee="" in="" a="" book="" store,="" saw="" a="" brilliant="" performance="" called="" fishez="" by="" váróterem="" project,="" and="" participated="" in="" my="" first="" „folk="" dance="" house”="" program="" ever.="" this="" was="" a="" hundred="" times="" more="" fun="" as="" i="" imagined="" it="" before,="" and="" the="" atmosphere="" was="" really="">

& FINALLY

After some ups and downs, at the end of October, I was waiting for November not only with question marks in my head and soul, but also with some nice connections to people who care about me and some inner stability.

Class trip

Hiking, Cooking on bonfire, Raft building

Cluj Napoka

Eat, Drink, Dance! :)